I missed a day working out, but that's ok. :) I got back on track today. I think Im going through a mildly depressive episode. I'm hoping Ill be out of it sooner than later.
I haven't weighed myself since my doctors visit, but Ive tried on some of my other clothing, the ones Ive been avoiding, since I did know I was getting bigger, I just cared not to acknowledge it. They are most obviously tight and obnoxiously keep me from breathing.
In any case I force myself to wear them as a constant reminder that all this working out is going to eventually gain something for me.... of course that is the ability to breathe in clothes, again. :D
My birthday is coming up in 11 days and two things are going to happen. First I'm going to quit smoking. And second:... I'm obviously going to have access to alot of food at my little party...
Ive decided to set goals for this day: 1. don't smoke. and 2. eat everything I want... WITHIN my calorie intake, which is about 1900 calories. :D Can I do it?? I think I will.
I know James will buy me a cake for my birthday, I'm hoping it will be something else, although all my best friends(and he knows) know cake is my favorite food. I hope he reads my mind and buys me a gift card or a hat.
In any case. I have goals for my birthday. I'm feeling much better in the emotional department. Little fat boy has moments of sadness, but we get through it with journal-ling and TIO(talk it out). Its getting better. I notice I eat much better after therapy. So I'm going to have my therapist move in with me. JUST KIDDING!!
blah blah blah. now I'm just rambling. Love you guys!(all of you reading this with kindness and patience.)
kat.
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